Will I get better in therapy?
How Inner Child work can create lasting healing.
A common question I get asked by clients when they first begin therapy is, “Will I get better?” Starting therapy can be a scary step for many people. Sometimes people don’t know where to begin looking for help, or what kind of help they need. Sometimes people are afraid that if they finally do start therapy, they will find out they are “too broken” to ever feel better. It can feel safer to remain in the status quo than to seek our truth.
What part of you feels too broken to get better?
When clients share with me their fear that they may be too broken to get better, I usually ask them to think about what part of them feels that way?
Clients are usually confused by this question and say “What do you mean…? All of me feels this way!” I then tell clients that perhaps a very big part of you feels this way, a part that is overwhelmed and taking up a lot of space right now, but it is still only a part of you.
Inner Child Work
This is when I will discuss the power of doing inner child work. Inner child work is an approach to recognizing and healing childhood trauma.
As we grow up, we have broken hearts, frustrations, and dreams that just don’t materialize. We stop playing, and at some point we start letting our experiences dictate who we are, and we never reconnect with these younger parts of ourselves.
The Benefits of Inner Child WorkDeveloping self awareness
Developing positive coping methods
Increase self esteem, joy and growth.
Feeling in control of your life.
Understanding your past trauma and its effect on your life and decisions
Reconnecting with your inner child
If we want to keep growing and learning as adults, it may be helpful to reconnect with our inner child, even if it may cause us to face difficult emotions as we tap into a part of ourselves that is vulnerable. Doing inner child work is worth it, as it can help us heal our long-standing hurts and learn to live fully again. It can unlock our self-love, compassion, passion and potential.
Bringing your adult perspective to childhood experiences
When you start healing your inner child, you time travel to the past, emotionally and mentally revisiting traumatic events you may have faced as a child. You can remember how your child self felt, but from the perspective of an adult, and can start reframing the past hurt in a way that honors and validates the experience of your younger self.
You may have never had an opportunity to experience this kind of emotional validation before. This can allow you to step away from the coping methods your child self has held on to for so long, strategies that may be keeping you stuck now in your adult life. From there, you can move towards a greater range of coping methods that support you in your current life.
Signs you may benefit from inner child work:You suffer from low self-esteem
You are critical and hard on yourself
You feel that no one understands you
You don’t feel heard
You are often frustrated or irritated
You react strongly when some of your needs are unmet
You find it difficult to articulate your feelings when you are upset
You self-sabotage
You have a fear of abandonment or commitment
You don’t know how to express your needs
You don’t know how to set healthy boundaries
You may behave immaturely or have childish outbursts
You feel angry and stuck
You are not too broken to heal your inner child
If you recognize any of these behaviors in yourself, focusing on healing your inner child may be helpful. At SAMA Psychotherapy, we want you to know that you can get better. As childhood trauma experts, we know that healing emotionally can make a big difference in your work, relationship with others, and most importantly, your relationship with yourself.